Unsafe In His Own Head
by Sunshinecackle
Summary: Adam didn't want to sleep, and for good reason. Lawrence, at least, could be there if he needed him.


**Title:** Unsafe In His Own Head  
 **Author:** Donnie  
 **Fandom:** SAW  
 **Setting:** Lawrence and Adam's apartment  
 **Pairing:** Lawrence Gordon/Adam Faulkner-Stanheight  
 **Characters:** Lawrence Gordon, Adam Faulkner-Stanheight, John Kramer  
 **Genre:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Chapters:** 1/1  
 **Word Count:** 1409  
 **Type of Work:** One-Shot  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Warnings:** Gay, Slash, Yaoi, Fluff, Nightmares, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Amputations  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.  
 **Summary:** Adam didn't want to sleep, and for good reason. Lawrence, at least, could be there if he needed him.

 **AN:** So, here's another fic done up today! I'm really on a roll, aren't I? I'm so glad to be getting this done, and that I can actually get everything I wanted to done. Like, I'm super stoked, guys. I hope you enjoy!

 **Unsafe In His Own Head** ****

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"Adam," Lawrence yawned behind his hand, gently shaking the warm body half grown into his side, "Love? I think it might be time for bed."

Truth be told, Adam's constant mantra of 'one more' when it came to these seemingly never-ending movie marathons had landed him in a heap of trouble. His elder lover probably knew very well what he was doing, petting his hair and holding him close in their shared cocoon of thick blankets. Wherever it stopped in his hair, it would rest, drawing absentminded patterns on Adam's good shoulder. It seemed both men had decided to use this to get what they wanted; Lawrence, to get Adam to sleep, and Adam to avoid that fate as long as he could.

Of course, Adam loved Lawrence's hands for more reasons than the sexual implications. Just feeling one of those large, reassuring palms on the small of his back calmed his newfound agoraphobia enough that leaving the apartment was possible. A little ruffle of his hair could always make him grin. Just holding hands, casual affection Adam had been denied most of his life, set his heart all aflutter. And, right now, Lawrence was using his perfect, wonderful, diabolical hands for _evil_.

"I think it's time for you to go fuck yourself." The younger finally said, head fuzzy and words sluggish. Lawrence just chuckled, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"I think we would both prefer if I fucked you." He purred, kissing the younger man's temple and pressing his nose to his skin. Another yawn broke his concentration, jaw popping and eyes watery, "Though I think I'm too tired." _Old_ , "To use that tactic to put you to sleep.

"You could just go to bed without me." The nervous grin on Adam's face told Lawrence all he needed to know. Changing his tactics, he pouted and tried on his biggest puppy dog eyes.

"We both know I won't sleep if I don't hold you. You could get up after I've fallen asleep?" Lawrence promised, but Adam saw right through him. Still, he was too groggy to truly put up a fight. Instead, he gave a quiet, rebellious grunt and let his head fall back to his lover's shoulder.

"Fine, you win. But you have to carry me." There was an odd sentence to his one condition. Lawrence knew how hard it was for Adam to admit defeat, and he pressed another kiss to his cheekbone.

"As you wish, my little prince." Adam made a face at the nickname, frowning as they unraveled from their blanket nest. Immediately, he missed Lawrence's warmth, the entire left side of his body even colder. Shivering, he glanced at his lover as he steadied himself on his prosthetic, and he heaved a great, put upon sigh.

"Okay, okay, Prince Charming. You don't have to carry me to bed, but you _do_ have to hold my hand."

The handsome, thankful smile Lawrence gave him made giving in more than worth it. Taking the offered hand, Adam followed his lover to their bedroom. His mind still didn't really want to sleep, but his body was exhausted all the way to the bone. Once Lawrence sat down on the plush, pillowtop mattress, Adam sunk dutifully to his knees.

It had begun as a gesture to prove he was sorry for… Something he couldn't recall, and had grown into a nightly ritual. Lawrence didn't _really_ need help with his prosthetic, but Adam enjoyed removing it to give the stump of flesh and bone loving kisses. The remains of Lawrence's legs where the scar tissue was always yielded soft sighs and whines from his good doctor, the kinds of sounds he never wanted to forget. This time proved no different, and he relished the half-lidded gaze fixed on his face when he peppered the puckered flesh with loving, gentle kisses.

"Alright, Angelfish, I think that's enough. Bedtime, remember?" Lawrence laughed softly, breathlessly as Adam slid up between the elder man's legs to gift him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Fine. I guess you have work in the morning, don't you?" Which meant tooling around the loft all day. Damn winter cold affected his shoulder something awful.

"Yes, and it's already past midnight." For a second, Lawrence sounded like he was scolding the other. He _did_ often refer to Adam as a twenty-eight year old toddler. He could be very childish at times. A few seconds after, he leaned in for another press of lips, "Let's scuttle off to bed, okay, Bug?"  
"I-" Adam didn't get the chance to argue, kissed senseless and pulled back against the head of the bed.

"Bed." Was all Lawrence said, pleased when Adam finally sighed and nestled himself under the covers at his side. It must have shown on his face because Adam playfully punched his arm.

"Don't look so smug. It's _unbecoming_ of a doctor." In all honesty, he wasn't even sure if he used that word right. And he didn't care, because Lawrence grabbed him in his strong embrace, snuggling in under the blankets with him. Adam laughed, feeling safe in Lawrence's arms even if there was a looming anxiety about sleeping. Lawrence couldn't protect him when he was lost in his own head.

"I love you, Bumblebee." Lawrence murmured into his hair, kissing his temple before letting go so the younger man could get comfortable, curled into his side.

"I love you, too, Teddy Bear." Adam's mocking tone didn't detract too much from his words, and Lawrence decided to just take what he could get.

"Goodnight, jerk." He whispered.

"Night, asshole." Adam replied casually, yawning wide. Laying down with Lawrence, wrapped in the scent of him, was making him realize just how tired he truly was. As much as he hated it, he found himself drifting before he knew what was happening.

-

Water. He jolted awake, panicked and gasping for air. Flailing, he managed to sit up, sputtering and coughing loudly. Darkness met him, and he felt his heart stop. A voice cut in over his desperate pleas for someone, anyone, to help him.

"Hello, Adam. I want to play a game." It said ominously, and a choked sob left the photographer. "You'll be alone for this one."

"No! No- Lawrence!" He screamed, stumbling back as the lights slowly illuminated the same damn bathroom he'd been chained in before. This time, both feet and wrists were chained, along with a collar around his neck. A hacksaw was placed beside him. Flashes of Lawrence cutting off his own foot came flooding in and he gagged on his tears. Sobbing Lawrence's name like a prayer that might save him, he didn't quite get a chance to hear the rules for his game.

-

The world spun, his vision blurry and cheeks wet as the bedroom he shared with Lawrence swam into view. He felt hands on him, and panic dictated that he needed to fight. Throwing a misguided punch, he found himself weeping as Lawrence pulled him in close. Restraining his lover, the doctor whispered against his ear. Partially to calm him down, and partially because Adam had winded him.

"Shh, Adam, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe. They can't hurt you. I've got you, and I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you again. I wouldn't lie to you. _Never_ you."

Adam believed him, on some level, but his nightmare had felt so _real_. Clinging to his rock, he tried not to drown as he cried it out. Lawrence still wasn't the best at comforting people, but he but he had become particularly good at comforting Adam. Rubbing careful circles into his back, he breathed as calmly as he could.

"Focus on my breathing." He whispered into Adam's hair, "It's okay."

Thankfully, the psychiatrist at the hospital had told him how to handle this situation. Getting Adam to relax before he'd learned what to do was like pulling teeth.

"I hate him." Adam finally whispered, exhausted in every way.

"He's the reason we met." _And fell in love._ "He wasn't all-"

"If you want me to sleep, don't say it." Adam muttered, boneless despite himself.

"Okay, okay. Do I need to do something for you, Bumblebee?"

"Just… Shut up and hold me, Lawrence." Adam mumbled, closing his eyes as he focused on the sound of Lawrence's breathing and heartbeat.

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 **AN:** I've been sitting on this for a bit, and I'm finally glad to have it done and typed up. I'm really happy with this, I hope you guys enjoy!


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